Sam Smith Is Not Human

I am normally a late bird when it comes to getting into current artists in the Music Industry (see first post about lateness to understand). I recently came across the artist Sam Smith and am TRULY emotionally confused on his existence as a human being. 

I LITERALLY CANNOT EVEN. 

I'd like to explore 5 reasons why he cannot be real, only a projection of goodness to the world. Yet another way to make us believe perfection is achievable.

1. HIS VOICE. How does he make that beautiful sound from his mouth? He's kind of like the male version of Adele. His voice sounds like melting ice cream. Listen here to "Stay With Me".

2. HIS LYRICS. Absolutely Incredible. Let's just start with a comparison between a Sam Smith song vs. a current pop hit in the United States of America.

"Lay Me Down" by Sam Smith

Yes I do, I believe

That one day I will be, where I was

Right there, right next to you

And it's hard, the days just seem so dark

The moon, the stars, are nothing without you

Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?

No words can explain, the way I’m missing you 

The night, this emptiness, this hole that I’m inside 

These tears, they tell their own story

BRAVO, Sam!

"Wiggle" by Jason Derulo featuring Snoop Dogg

(Top 5th song in the United States on iTunes!!!)

I got one question

How do you fit all that in them jeans?

[Laughs]

You know what to do with that big fat butt

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle
Just a ittle bittle

Or perhaps the Top 6th song in the United States.

"Turn Down For What" by DJ Snake

Fire up that loud

Another round of shots...

Turn down for what? [x5]

Turn down for what? [x5]

Fire up that loud

Another round of shots

Fire up that loud [x3]

Turn down for what? [x5]

Those are the FULL lyrics to "Turn Down For What". I feel like I do not need to explain why this is a problem.

3. HIS APPEAL. One word- Swoon.

4. THE FEELS. When I listen to his songs there are SO MANY FEELS. SO MANY EMOTIONS that I cannot handle them all at once. Sam Smith makes me feel happy, nostalgic, sensual, and ugly cry sad all at the same time. How does one deal with all of these emotions at once? Perhaps it's a satanic/alien action to corrupt life on Earth with feelings and emotions.

Lastly,

5. THE NAME. If you rearrange the letters of Sam Smith you get-

(JK! But you do get Sham Smit or I Am Mthss! Which are also evil sounding.)

All in all, this post is symbolic to the very name of this blog because Sam Smith's existence equals everyone's reaction, probably just mine, to be "I Literally Cannot Even".

(I do not work for Sam Smith's management, agency, or public relations team. But if any of you are reading this, I WOULD LIKE TO.)